Do I REALLY need to elaborate on this? The title says it all…
Fine.
People who don't deserve your fleeting thoughts, your random smiles, your night time subconscious…seem to always creep into your cerebellum…
And you know it's bad when you'd never admit it to anyone. Hell, it's hard enough that you know it.
You say to yourself, "Self, why do I keep thinking of him/her?"
And of course, yourself never has any solutions. You think of advice you'd give someone else, and it's obsolete. You begin to understand why others frustrate you so much when they don't give into reason:
It's because love is without reason.
This person has done this, that, and the other…probably has no remorse…probably doesn't think about you…yet…
You heart can't seem to let go. When they were a part of your life, their actions affected you. Now that they're not, guess what? Their actions (or lack thereof) STILL affect you. Can't win for losing, huh?
When someone enters your world, they leave impressions on your heart. They stain it, kind of like the stained glass on churches. Beautiful stains that can sometimes be cracked and broken by the same person…but you can still see the remnants, and remember the beauty that once was, and picture it being put back together.
Some breaks are worse than others, though; unfixable. You recognize those, hopefully, and know that window should be replaced, not fixed.
Tug-o War is what it turns into. Your love side and your let go side are at odds, and both have really good arguments…and it's up to your realistic side to make the decision.
But alas, it's your hopeful side that keeps the fight going…and I don't even believe in hope; it leaves too much room for disappointment.
So it's about faith. Faith in the fact that whatever decision is made will lead to something worthwhile and beneficial to growth. Both good and bad lessons help to achieve this goal; but the ultimate goal is to make a decision that is conducive to your life.
But sometimes you step out on reason and take a chance. It's then that you ask yourself, "Self, is it worth it?"
You see how convoluted and circular this all is, with no real answers? That is why I said:
Feelings are retarded bastards.
But…they're your retarded bastards. Love and protect them.
One ♥
