It’s All Coming to an End…College Reflection

As I approach graduation, like any other major milestones in life, you are forced to look back on all that you have done. The realization that I am not completely satisfied with my college experience came about by listening to others talk about theirs, beaming proudly at all they've done and their many aspirations.

 

Because of the situation I was in I was not able to fully engage in the college experience for my 1^st four years there; I lived on my own and was working an extremely draining and demanding job that sucked up most of my time. That was four years of bonding, friending, travelling, networking, and enrichment that I lost. I look at other's friendships that have been formed through those concentrated interactions on campus, and the evident camaraderie, and it makes me a bit sad that I am on the outskirts of those groups.

 

I know that I am blessed to have even been able to have gone to college; I do not regret the people that I have met, the experiences that I have had, and what I have done. I just wish I could have experienced a little bit more…if just one year more.

 

Perhaps I can use this as motivation to provide a better life for my future children, so they won't have to be thrust into adulthood so soon. I want them to have more culturally enriching lives, less stress due to an unstable environment, and be motivated to do well because they will have parents who don't just expect that of them; they will be examples of that greatness. I don't want them to have to work so hard to survive and miss out on what life has to offer. I don't want their youthfulness to be drained because of bills, stress, what ifs, and if onlys. I want to create in them that balance between responsibility and fun.

 

I want to give them the childhood-young adulthood I didn't get to fully have.

 

 

I guess I better get started, huh…?

 

One ♥

The Camera is Rolling…

Play. As I was driving the other day, there was a car in front of me who threw on its signal for a right turn.  I had the thought in my head, "Turn signals can breed stalkers, because people know how to follow you."  As I laughed to myself at my weird observation, I took notice of where he was turning—into a strip club parking lot.  Now, I consider myself desensitized to lots of forms of alternate and deviant lifestyles, and strip clubs fall into that category.  Heck, I've BEEN to a couple of them before.  But it was something about this moment in time that made the world slow down around me, and really take in my surroundings.  Not the inside of my car, or even the street I was on.  I'm talking about the world.

 
 

Rewind.  I was on my way home from my Inequality and Society class, where we watched a documentary called "Inside Job", based on Wall Street and the subsequent launch into this horrible recession based on the heartless and greedy actions of the people who operate there.  The conclusion was that as long as their money is safe and they'll be ok, they are willing to crush the average person in order to gain and maintain, resulting in the worst stock market crash since the Great Depression.

 
 

Rewind.  I rarely watch the news, but when I do, it's ridden with murder, war, rape, trafficking, arson,  and crimes against children and the elderly, and all that falls in the middle.  Our schools' funding is being cut, schools are being closed, and children who aren't given enough incentive or encouragement to be better despite these circumstances are recycled into top of the news segments.  Meanwhile, while our children are been thrown under a bus along with their futures because of meager beginnings, football players, politicians, and white collar crooks are making millions of dollars.  Where's the logic in that?

 
 

Pause. We live in a world where the word "gain" is used in so many contexts except the right one.  It should be about the love of our children, fellow man, and the better of society as a WHOLE, not just the top 1% who are worth more than the entire bottom 90%.  Yet, the aged old root of all evil and self-gratification are what's running the world, are a part of people's motivations to move forward and exist, despite the rampant joblessness, homelessness, and severe crime happening in the 'land of the free and home of the brave' where 'all men are created equal' and are given the right to 'life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness'.  Those aren't MY words.

 
 

Play. As I watched this person pull into the strip club parking lot, where some poor girl feels the need to take off her clothes because she feels her physical attribute are worth a few one's, I got immensely sad.  We live in the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah, and people can't tie that with all the 'natural disasters' happening around us. Devastating earthquakes, birds falling from the sky, fish washing up on shores.  This world is worse than the world before it, so we will not be afforded a quick destruction, but a slow and painful one.  Are we past redemption?  I am working hard to not be turned into a pillar of salt.

 
 

Fast Forward: When you are given the opportunity to look back on it all, will you want someone watching your movie?  I don't know about you, but I don't like movies that end on a sour note.  Make people root for you; root for other people.  You can't heal the whole world, but you can be a stitch that is trying to mend your own surroundings.  Make your time on earth count: this is NOT a rehearsal!  We are LIVE. Live like it.  You can't go back and make edits, but you can make changes to the script.  You still have time, so…..

 
 

 
 

 
 

Pause.