…then no one else will, either. Your girls are supposed to be the ones who build you up, amplify your positives while at the same time bringing you back down to earth when it seems as if you are floating away…
So why, on more than one occasion, has my 'girls' told me that my standards are too high?
Job. Respectful. Non-smoker. No kids. Off the streets/ non-thug. STEP BACK! I think I'm asking for WAAAAY too much!
How you present yourself to the world reflects on how you want to be viewed. Appearance has been one of the main vehicles used in rebellion: dreads, baggy clothes, peace symbols, etc. to symbolize "we are not with mainstream society". Problem with that is most people who are trying to not be of the norm, are NOW of the norm. So I'm looking for a rebellious one now. One who dresses like someone may hire him for something. Lol
Presentation being said, yes, sometimes I may judge based on appearance, but so does 50 million other people. This is not a new concept. I admit I am immediately turned off by a guy who's showing more ass than a stripper because his pants are so low. That's just my preference to not deal with someone who I perceive as 'ragged' because you don't care what you come out of the house looking like. That doesn't necessarily mean I shut him down, but more often than not his attitude and approach match the stigma attached to that style of dress: thug nigga. I present myself to the world neat, clean, smelling good, etc. Why does it seem that same concept is not expected in men? Why do we accept the opposite as the 'norm'? It's sad to me that women would rather just accept whatever falls off the table because they think there isn't any better, or rather, they can't do any better.
I refuse to be one of those women who are with somebody out of loneliness. That's a waste of everybody's time.
I do not want a thug, in any shape, form, or fashion. Why does that make me stuck up or judgmental because I know what I want and don't want? Granted, the guy that I may go for may not be shyt, either. I'm aware of the fact that you cannot judge a book by its cover. But life gives you tools to use for survival, and lessons to use to come to intelligent conclusions.
I have a plethora of examples of me going against my better judgment, and the horrid outcome of the situation being based on shyt I already knew.
I am not treating all guys the same, but you can't ignore a framework. You should approach all situations with caution; you can't expect someone else to always have your best interests at heart, because that's definitely not the case a lot of the time. You also can't go blindly into situations, giving too much trust to another human being. Because well, that's just dumb.
A happy medium must be found. I have prayed about my heart and am working on how to approach different romantic situations. God knows my heart, and has fashioned someone who fits me. Only He knows what's in store for me. He is building me to become a woman who knows and realizes her worth.
I am one who believes that you shouldn't have to sink back down to anyone's level, especially if you've worked your butt off to get to where you are. And if you happen to come across someone who just needs a boost, and they don't take it, then move on. Situations like that only hinder you from your greatness. Someone should meet you where you are, and you two should move forward together.
I know I am not perfect, so I don't expect him to be either. But I can't help what turns me off. If he doesn't like dark skinned chicks with dreads, well, that's his preference. I can't fault him. I'm sure he has his reasons, as I do mine. My standards aren't there with no backing; there is GOOD reason for each, and considering I'm the only one who has to deal with my relationships (or lack thereof), I don't feel the need to have to explain to anyone why I have the preferences that I do. Looking at the awesome examples of relationships around me, maybe the extra caution that I'm being condemned for may be beneficial to others…
So I end with this:
"It's not that we have different tastes in men; it's just that we have different standards."
One ♥
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