Why Do Women Hate on Other Women?

Here's another answer of mine from a question posed in the same book: Why We Should Love Black Women by Hasani Pettiford:

 

I speak from personal experience as a victim and a perpetrator, and in general.

Women hate on other women because of their own insecurities. Pure an simple.

Women see what other women have, which is oftentimes synonymous with what the hater DOESN'T have, and they covet it: men, money, materials, brains, body, confidence, peace, etc...

They try to figure out why they can't reach the same level: Maybe I'm not cute enough, skilled enough, too broke, dumb, fat, got too much negativity going on...

And to keep all of the blame from being on themselves (and because it's MUCH easier to blame your woes on others rather than take personal responsibility), you think of ulterior motives as to why she REALLY has all those things...:

She must be a hoe, she must be screwing her way to the top, she must have men giving her things/ rich parents, she must have gotten plastic surgery, she think she's all that...

In placing those negative attributes on the other women, it makes us feel better about our condition, because it says to us that we COULD attain those things if we wanted to, and that those women are no better than us. It's not about who's better or worse; it's about who wants it more. Even those who have gotten certain perks in their lives through means other than honest gain have a chance of losing it all because of the maintenance behind it, skills they haven't learned due to things being handed. It all depends on what's left when the surface is stripped; that's what will carry on.

Instead of congratulating those women who are on the up and up (because let's be honest, there are some women who aren't far from the negatives) we put them down and underestimate them because we aren't where they are. It's been a long time since I've had this mind set, and I now give credit where it's due, because it's hard enough as it is to make it out here, and we don't need negative energy from those who are supposed to understand and love us. I also try to uplift those who feel as if they can't be more than what they are. It all starts within the person.

Does Hip-Hop Hate Black Women?

So, I was going through some old FB messages, and came across my response to this question…I was asked this to assist in a compilation of answered featuring this, and many other topics of interest in relation to Hasani Pettiford's Why We Should Love Black Women. I said:

 

Well, let me first say that Hip-Hop is more than music; it's a way of life. And I think that there should be technicalities when using the term, because the foolishness that is popular these days is not Hip-Hop; it's rap. Most rap lacks substance, and only presents what is popular: money, cars, clothes, sex, drugs, and violence, all behind a beat. That is not music. They have become slaves to the industry and are no longer doing what they love; they're doing what sells. The sad thing is, only a small percent of the population, in my opinion, would appreciate a true MC if he came out on a purely intellectual tip. Even some of the more intellectual people deviate a bit, but because they are mostly geared towards what's not popular, they are underrated. Everybody else would rather Swag Surf.

Anyhoo, my sistahs in videos...it is truly a sad thing. It's no secret that Black women are portrayed as sex symbols who bounce their asses to the very lyrics that make them less than the queens that they are. They too are selling their souls, based on their assets. In a sense, maybe I'm selfish to say, "Well, they ain't talking about me." Just because we share the same shade doesn't mean they represent me. I'm more concerned about our children, the sponges who soak up this nonsense, and who are inevitably our future. Little boys who think it's ok to grab booty (and whatever else), and little girls who wear shorts up to God knows where, all because the songs and videos lead them to believe that this is the norm, that this is the only way to attract the opposite sex. This is where good parenting is critical, to teach our children the difference between fantasy and reality, that there are more options to life than what they see on television, that these people have real people problems behind the scenes, that not all that glitters is gold, and that just because it looks good doesn't mean it's good for you. I really wish that our little girls had better people to see on TV, but this is not what sells, so I leave with this: leave that representation to people who it represents. To those of us who DO care, turn off the TV.

 

One ♥