When do you apologize?

Or when do you just move forward?

 

There are people in my past that I have done wrong, admittingly. Whether it was purposeful (because I was hurt), or accidentally (because I was being self-centered), I know I have left hurt feelings in the past. A question I asked myself one day was:

 

Is it possible to knowingly be someone else's bad karma? Why not, if you can realize that you are their blessing, in their life for a reason?

 

Should you just let Karma be? That's a whole notha blog….

 

Oftentimes, people talk about their shoulda coulda woulda's on their deathbeds and stuff. I don't want to be one of those people.

 

I can look back and say, "Man…that WAS wrong." As a matter of fact, there are some people I have apologized to, but with others I've been hesitant. Guys, for instance, have egos to think about. I don't want to step up and admit to my thoughtlessness, and they tell me they didn't care either way. Then that makes me look arrogant, assuming that I have that much power to affect their feelings…I just don't want to look like an asshole.

 

I also feel if I did make an impact, then I don't want to go back and open old wounds…

 

I have this pride issue…if I was in a situation where my feelings were hurt as well, I feel as if the other person should step up and say something. It gets tiring being the bigger person all the time. I also feel like it indicates that I'M the one who's wrong all the time. It then brings about ill feelings within me if I don't get the response I want, something like, "I was wrong, too. I'm sorry."

 

Which brings be back to the original query: when do you apologize, or when do you just move forward?

 

Well, this is one I don't have a good answer for. I guess when the opportunity presents itself to have that discussion, then do what you feel is right at that moment. But I am done seeking people out to say, "Hey, about what happened between us…" I don't know if I'm doing that for MY benefit of theirs…me to feel better about the situation (guilty weight off my shoulders) or them to know I'm not a complete jackass (guilty weight off my shoulders)…same outcomes, huh…well…in conclusion:

 

Apologizing is a very selfish act! Hahahahaha

 

Not really, but seems that way, right? Happy Holidays:)