Her Mistakes

Self-Serving Bias:
A belief that a person will behave in a certain way, so you treat them as if they WILL act that way. This, in turn, makes them behave in the manner that you predicted…so you say, "Aha! I KNEW it!"

 

I am SO tired of getting the short end of the stick! I can't tell you how many guys I've come across that are cynical and jaded because they've opened up their hearts to women in the PAST (key word), and the women have turned around and broken their hearts. So, here I am, a woman who is genuine, who has nothing but my significant other's best interests at heart, and I'm looked upon as "just like all them other bitches". I know: it's hard to come across a person who is genuinely nice, and ACTUALLY means the things that they say. But I am one of those people. There are no amount of words that I can say to make a guy believe that I am not out to hurt them or whatever they think that my motive is…all I can do is ask for a chance.

I'm not speaking from the outside completely; I've been there, too. I've kept one eye open when dealing with new guys, assuming that they all want the same thing(s) from me, and that I will be hurt. Although I HAVE come across a lot of guys who fit that description, I've learned not to treat each new guy as such. Each person is their own individual, and they don't all have the same motives. Indeed, don't put your heart completely on the line with EVERY person you meet, but give them a chance: a chance to prove themselves to be a person you can see yourself with, OR a chance to fuck up. Don't jump the gun.

 

I put that definition at the top for a reason. This is a term I learned in my Social Psychology class. I'll give you all a second to read it again….ok?

Got it??

LOL…anyway, this can apply to different parts of life, but for the sake of this note, I'm talking about relationships. What that's basically saying is that some people behave this way, sort of a defense mechanism, towards newcomers in their life…kind of cut them off at the pass, so that their heart won't get broken. They behave in such a way to drive the other person away, maybe by being accusatory, rude, or just mean, and the OTHER person reciprocates these actions and attitudes. This way, it's easier to leave the person alone, assuming that eventually it would have self-destructed anyway…I've seen this personally, too. This routine get so old, that it makes me want to NOT even try sometimes, but I know eventually someone will see me for who I REALLY am, not as someone they're EXPECTING me to be.

 

I've had this on my mind for a while, and I know it's unprecedented for Poetress to NOT write a poem, but I decided to step outside of that box this time to say in plain English how I felt about this matter. I know there are many of you who feel the same way. I AM a good person…I have my faults, but that's the price one pays for being human. But, in general, I have a lot of love in me, God's love, to give. I guess He knows that, and is aiding me in choosing wisely. Not many of us have the privilege of being hand-picked like I know I am…so I supposed He wants to hand-pick the one for me…I know you can't appreciate sunny days without some downpours, but it's time for some people to realize that and start praying for a bright forecast! I will be doing just that. I've done my job if I've spoken for someone's heart …

You never know what you have until it's gone, and by the time you realize, it may be too late…

 

One ♥